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A major summit ran two hours late this week. Not because of policy talks. Because a wall was the wrong shade of orange.
Read CoverageVishy filmed a new video last night. He forgave everyone in the country, praised himself a little, and left before anyone could ask what, exactly, he was forgiving them for.
Read CoverageA newly unveiled records board ranks the registry's most decorated candidates by achievements nobody asked to see broken, from fastest defection to most confident answer with zero sources.
Read CoverageA viral five-question certification quiz has swept the nation, awarding scores that are final, rounded up, and non-negotiable regardless of how they were earned.
Read CoverageCommittee members say the new tool has cut rishta-rejection processing time from days to milliseconds, with excuses now 'deadpan, official-sounding, and instantly deployable.'
Read CoverageAnalysts remain unable to explain the app's 4.9-star rating, given that it cannot be found, downloaded, or verified by any known app store.
Read CoverageInvestigators confirm the cases were not dropped, merely 'chronologically deprioritized.' Sources describe the timing as 'a remarkable coincidence, several times in a row.'
Read CoverageRevenue is up, names are down. Analysts say the platform's biggest strength remains its complete inability to be audited by anyone, including itself.
Read CoverageWitnesses say the defection occurred so smoothly that half the crowd didn't notice until the garlands arrived. A new party badge was issued before the mic was switched off.
Read CoverageThe new tier includes ambient microphone access and full family group infiltration. Early reviews describe it as 'invasive, but in a comforting, familiar way.'
Read CoverageResearchers say the chatbot achieved human-level conversational ability by responding to every query with a confident non-sequitur and zero citations.
Read CoverageIn a fiery panel segment, four guests were muted, one was congratulated, and zero follow-up questions were permitted. Ratings soared.
Read CoverageOur algorithm confirmed the match by rounding up twice. The man's family has already forwarded the certificate to 40 WhatsApp groups.
Read CoverageAfter a six-month investigation involving zero documents and one off-the-record chat, our newsroom can confirm what the name already told you.
Read CoverageThe milestone was celebrated with a ribbon-cutting ceremony, a press release, and zero mentions of what was actually being cleaned.
Read CoverageThe appointment was confirmed via a forwarded voice note. No résumé was requested, and none was offered.
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