Exclusive: Anonymous Source Reveals Electoral Bonds Are, In Fact, Anonymous
After a six-month investigation involving zero documents and one off-the-record chat, our newsroom can confirm what the name already told you.
Our reporter's notebook, six months in, containing exactly one entry.
After an exhaustive six-month investigation involving zero leaked documents, zero whistleblowers, and precisely one off-the-record phone call that mostly concerned lunch plans, our newsroom can now exclusively confirm: electoral bonds are, in fact, anonymous.
The investigation began after our team noticed the word 'anonymous' appearing directly in promotional material for the bonds, prompting what one editor called 'a hunch worth chasing.' Six months, several coffee-fueled all-nighters, and one very long lunch later, that hunch has been thoroughly vindicated.
"We left no stone unturned," said the lead reporter, gesturing at a single sticky note that read 'check name of product.' "It wasn't easy. At one point we considered actually reading the brochure, but ultimately felt the headline had already written itself."
Sources close to the matter — specifically, the source's own press release — confirm that the anonymity is a 'core feature, not a bug,' a phrase our newsroom is treating as the investigative bombshell of the year.
Editors have already greenlit a six-month follow-up investigation into whether the Electoral Bond Outlet is, as its name suggests, a place where electoral bonds are sold.
Six months. Zero documents. One phone call. The headline was sitting right there in the product name the entire time.
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