Terms of Service
By scrolling this far, you have already agreed. Chronologically, that happened first.
1. Eligibility
You must be of sound mind, of legal age, and willing to describe every stalled infrastructure project as 'ahead of schedule.'
2. Prohibited Content
Fact-checking, citing sources, screenshots with timestamps, and any use of the phrase 'that's not what happened' are strictly prohibited.
3. Termination
We may terminate your account at any time, for any reason, and then open an unrelated inquiry into your finances purely as a coincidence.
4. Governing Law
This agreement is governed by the laws of whichever party currently holds a majority. Laws are subject to retroactive reinterpretation.
5. Dispute Resolution
All disputes will be resolved chronologically, on a prime-time panel, by a moderator who has already decided who's right.
This is a satirical terms-of-service page for a fictional site and does not constitute a real legal agreement.