Profile Manager: RSS Central Cell, Nagpur
The WhatsApp University Vice Chancellor
“Has a PhD-equivalent forward for every historical event, real or imagined.”
A Note From the Family
“Our son can trace any current event back to a 500-year-old conspiracy within four forwarded messages. We seek a partner who won't fact-check the family group chat before Diwali.”
Gems of Wisdom
Prophet
“I have a forward that predicted this exact moment.”
Educator
“Every uncle is a historian if the WiFi is strong enough.”
Academic
“Voice notes are the highest form of scholarship.”
Fact-Checker (Self-Appointed)
“If it's in all caps, it's probably true.”
Seeking a Match Who
A partner who reads every forward twice before questioning it, and then doesn't question it anyway.
Absolute Dealbreakers
Snopes, fact-checkers, anyone who says 'source?'
Endorsements
“Converted my entire building WhatsApp group in under a week.”
“His forwards cured my aunt's belief in Wikipedia.”
“Cited a screenshot of a screenshot as a primary source. Bold.”
Astro-Political Kundli Alignment
Certified by the Pegasus Kundli Spy Division
CAUTION: Rahu Dosha (Compulsive Forwarding) detected in the 8th house. Avoid unscripted interactions.