Profile Manager: RSS Central Cell, Nagpur
The Press Pass Inspector
“Checks every press card personally, usually from inside the police bus.”
A Note From the Family
“Our son is very particular about credentials. When nearly three dozen reporters turned up to cover a protest, he personally invited each of them onto a bus to make sure they were real. All were returned the same day. We seek a bride who documents nothing.”
Gems of Wisdom
Risk Manager
“Some protesters were posing as journalists. To be safe, I also detained the journalists.”
Media Analyst
“Anyone holding a microphone near a barricade is a protester until proven boring.”
Custodian
“A phone is never safer than when it is in my pocket.”
Constitutionalist
“Press freedom is fully intact. The press is just temporarily elsewhere.”
Seeking a Match Who
A bride with no press card, no phone camera, and no interest in walking towards the Election Commission.
Absolute Dealbreakers
Lanyards, live streams, notepads, and any reporter who writes about him without first obtaining his consent.
Endorsements
“Cleared the frame so efficiently our anchor had the whole protest to himself.”
“Not one unflattering photo of the barricades survived the weekend.”
“Was held for hours for covering the story. Am now covering this instead.”
Astro-Political Kundli Alignment
Certified by the Pegasus Kundli Spy Division
CAUTION: Shani Dosha (Chronic Barricade Placement) detected in the 8th house. Avoid unscripted interactions.