Photo Unavailable
Photo seized as evidence. Case ongoing indefinitely.
Profile Manager: Laundry Division HQ
The ED Raid Scheduler
“Somehow every raid lands three days before a defection deadline.”
A Note From the Family
“Our child has never once raided anyone out of malice — purely coincidental timing, every single time, for a decade straight. We seek a match who believes in fate, especially electoral fate.”
Gems of Wisdom
Master of Timing
“The raid was scheduled months ago, purely coincidentally, right before the switch.”
Legal Strategist
“Evidence is optional; the press conference is not.”
Talent Scout
“Every defector gets a clean slate and a raid-free future.”
Philosopher
“I don't chase cases, cases chase convenient timing.”
Seeking a Match Who
A partner who understands that timing is everything, especially in matters of the heart and the charge sheet.
Absolute Dealbreakers
Anyone who asks why the case never actually goes to trial.
Endorsements
“Announced the raid, then the defection, then dropped the case — in that exact order. Every time.”
“His raid calendar predicts election results better than our exit polls.”
“Case reopened the week after they left the party. Reclosed the week after they rejoined. Efficient.”
Astro-Political Kundli Alignment
Certified by the Pegasus Kundli Spy Division
CAUTION: Shani Dosha (Chronic Coincidental Scheduling) detected in the 8th house. Avoid unscripted interactions.