Profile Manager: RSS Central Cell, Nagpur
The Designated Dissent Officer
“Fully supports your right to protest, at a ground of his choosing, under SOPs to be issued separately.”
A Note From the Family
“Our son believes deeply in the right to protest, which is why he has found it three new homes, none of them where anyone was protesting. When young people gathered anyway, he closed the park for administrative reasons. We seek a bride who will express herself only at a notified ground, after permission, between agreed hours.”
Gems of Wisdom
Urban Planner
“Dissent is not banned. It has been relocated for your convenience.”
Constitutionalist
“Every citizen has the right to protest. Where, is a committee matter.”
Clarifier
“The park was not closed because of the protest. The park was closed for administrative reasons, which include the protest.”
Logistics Head
“If you cannot find the protest venue, the venue is working as intended.”
Seeking a Match Who
A bride who will celebrate the wedding at Burari Ground, subject to permission, police directions and SOPs to follow.
Absolute Dealbreakers
Placards, slogans, central locations, and anyone who arrives in small groups to avoid barricades.
Endorsements
“Moved the whole story out of camera range. Prime time has never been so calm.”
“Recommended alternative venues so thoughtfully, nobody could find them.”
“Arrived at the old site with a placard. Was handed a map and an SOP to be issued separately.”
Astro-Political Kundli Alignment
Certified by the Pegasus Kundli Spy Division
CAUTION: Sthaan Dosha (Chronic Relocation of Others) detected in the 8th house. Avoid unscripted interactions.