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power

THE BULLDOZER™

Maximum power. Minimal subtlety.

4.3/5₹4,999 (demolition charges extra)

Reviewed by The Television Debate Gladiator

Performance
96%
Durability
90%
Ideological Consistency
72%
Noise Level
95%
Ease of Operation
40%
Political Compatibility
68%
Family Approval
22%
Likelihood of Changing Sides
12%
Aftercare

Immediately followed by a press conference announcing further demolitions.

The Full Review

LET ME BE VERY CLEAR: this product does not do subtle. It does not do quiet. It does one thing, at maximum volume, and clears whatever is in the way, structurally and otherwise. Neighbours have opinions. The neighbours are wrong. Ease of operation is poor, mostly because operation was never really the point. Overall: unstoppable. Would use again, ideally live, on split-screen, opposite someone trying to stop me.

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